Diary of an Underachiever

Diary of an UnderachieverMy busy schedule for today:


9.00am Perfect photosynthesis technology to convert sunlight into limitless energy supply to replace food for humans as well as electricity to keep the whole world online 27/4/365/e.

10.00am Launch my Moggie Millions affiliate business which generates 1p of revenue whenever someone thinks the word ‘cat’

11.00am Elevenses – tea (without milk, sugar, water or, in fact, tea).

11.05am Rebalance the global economy, using doughnuts as a baseline.

12.00pm Lunch – microwaved boil-in-the-bag grilled roast beef smoothie (without the trimmings).


1.00pm Business clinic with clients (am not yet able to console them when they realise that they will never match my stellar achievements).

1.03pm Gloat.

3.00pm Tea (without milk, sugar, water but lots of tea).

3.15pm Catch up with my reflection in the mirror (what a lucky chap he is).

3.42pm Design a new vault for my designer jewellery.

4.17pm Webinar with the world’s main political leaders (if they only followed my advice).

4.18pm  Generally continue being brilliant for the remainder of the day.

Alternatively . . .

. . . I could do some real work.


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