Hatch to mimic thatch?

Similar to the European Union Stability and Growth Pact, I have an agreement with Mrs Z that when the deficit in my hair supply exceeds 3% of a full Barnet, it’s time to change my hairstyle to avoid comb over.

At the weekend, I suggested two possible actions:

1. To wear a badly made, shaggy, obviously false orange wig
2. To cut my hair short

Mrs Z considers only one of these options a possibility – otherwise my rating could be downgraded from ZZZ stable to considerably unstable.

In the meantime, I will luxuriate in what hair I still have.